Grand ReOpening!

*Cccrrreeeaaakkkkk*

*Blows off dust*

Well, Hello!! Sooo... I graduated. You may now refer to me as Master. Master Kitchen, or Kvetchin Master will also do.

Okay, fine. We're all friends. You don't have to call me Master. But I'd like to gloat for just a moment. *Ahem* EFF YEA!!!! *cough* okay, I'm better now.

And now that my learning and, like, thinking or whatever is finished, I hope to make my grand re-debut very soon with actual recipes and what-not. Crazy, right? A blog with NEW POSTS!! Well, that's where we're headed. The wild and crazy future. And now, just a few photos of my awesomeness. Then it will be out of my system and I won't have to brag about it all the time.

Thanks for hanging with me!! Noms to appear soon :-)

PS: this entire post was created and edited on my phone during lunch... So I'll try to fix any wonkiness laterz.

Chicken and Waffles. Like a Boss.

I did a bad delicious thing. (okay... maybe it was a little bad... for my waistline). I mean, it was good. Shut the front door. Shut the back door, shut the windows, and shut the garage - this was good. It was a full stimulus to the palate - sweet, salty, and just a little spicy. And it was (dare I say?) playful with textures - crisp and juicy chicken, chewy and tender waffles, and just a little creamy from the condiment accessories. That's right - chicken and waffles.

In case my previous posts are any hint at all... allow me to spell it out for you. I am a stress eater. I've tried to transition (with moderate success) to workout instead of eat. But it's hard when I have so much homework and thesis to do, when I can eat while I study. But it's hard to type much in downward dog or running uphill. And, if my lack of posts is any indication, I have been sort of extremely busy. And it's getting to the point that when people as me to do anything, I automatically say "Sure! How's June??". Work is busy, class is intense, my thesis is at a turning point, and I have 3 friends getting married. And somewhere in all of that, I still have a husband who sometimes wants attention because he kind of likes me. SO! I get through it, because that's really the only option, and I don't want to miss anything with my friends, work, or family. 

They're escaping... make sure your front door is shut!

As a distraction from the stress, and as background noise to my ever-growing thesis paper (only 16 pages...), I obsess over the Food Network. And my favorite show (partly because Guy Fieri reminds me of my uncle) is Diner, Drive-ins, and Dives. In general, I prefer the kinds of shows where the star cooks, rather than gets paid to drive around and eat. But DDD features great local restaurants all over the country, and you haven't caught DDD fever, I suggest you scope it out. A dream of mine is to plan a road trip based on some his recommendations. Also (as I push up my hipster glasses) I voted for Guy when he was on The Next Food Network Star. And I prefer DDD to his regular cooking show. One of the challenges, though, is that they don't give precise measurements when they're cooking, and only some restaurants will allow their secrets to be blasted all over Food Network. One of the newer episodes featured some southern specialties, including (wait for it) chicken and waffles. In fact, chicken and waffles have been featured on many Food Network specials. But I had never tried it. And to make it just seemed too much. 

First you have to marinate the chicken overnight (planning?!?), then you make the waffles from scratch (frozen just won't due here), AND THEN you have to fry the chicken (how many dishes can I dirty??). PLUS!!! The Kvetchin Husband does not (and will NOT) eat sweet and salty together. So making this would risk him turning his nose up and needing a second dinner (of cereal). I delayed making this until one day, the stress was too much and I needed to spend an afternoon in the kitchen. And I just neglected to post here immediately because I was unsure of the deliciousity. I mean, I thought it was awesome, but since I didn't get great reviews from KH, I wasn't convinced it was worthy to post. And then last night, I made it for some dear friends willing to slip on their fat pants and save me from a possible anxiety attack by letting me feed them.

Some notes before I unleash this... 

• It does create a lot of dishes. But it's worth it.
• You can make either the chicken or waffles first (I can't multi-task) and keep them warm in a low oven.
• You can use your favorite buttermilk waffle recipe (I just provided a recipe below) and add in the syrup and seasoning. 
• This calls for pecans in coating the chicken (I'll pause so you can wipe the drool away), and while I haven't tried it, I'm sure that nearly any nut would do here. I would probably avoid peanuts and cashews, but I imagine that walnuts or pistachios would also do quite well.
• I used "scant" and "heaping" a few times in the recipe... I'm sorry to those who really enjoy hard-nosed recipes. The good thing about this combination is that the recipe is really quite adaptive and forgiving. The flavors are meant to be intense, but feel free to adjust to your own tastes.
• This is... trying to find the right words here... out of control. Unfortunately, the chicken is not great the next day. So call your friends, and make them all fat.
• I'm only sort-of sorry for the photo quality in this post - I only had shots from my phone because I ate it far too fast to get actual photos. After you make, you'll understand.

Plate ready - smothered with spicy mustard and maple syrup

Chicken and Waffles:

Inspired by watching DDD feature The Early Bird Diner in South Carolina

Waffles recipe adapted from Smitten Kitchen 

 

Ingredients:

For the chicken:

~1.5 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breast

2 cups buttermilk (or scant 2 cups regular milk, topped with white vinegar)

3 Tbls Honey (about 3 healthy squeezes)

1.5 Tbls of your favorite blackening/jerk seasoning

For the waffles:

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp salt

2 Tbls sugar

2 tsp blackening/jerk seasoning

1 tsp cinnamon

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

2 eggs

1 1/2 c buttermilk

4 Tbls butter, melted and cooled

3 Tbls real maple syrup (or 1 tsp maple extract)

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

For frying:

1/3 cup chopped pecans (they have small bags prepackaged in the baking aisle - I think about 4 oz. Pause for shame in food blogger who has not properly researched her ingredients... Aanndd shame resolved.)

1 heaping cup all-purpose flour

1 Tbls blackening/jerk seasoning

1 scant Tbls white pepper

1 scant Tbls salt

Vegetable oil

(This list is quite intimidating - but nothing here is "strange" and I had everything laying around my cupboard.)

1. In between two pieces of seran wrap, pound out the chicken to about 1/2" - 3/4" thick. You can skip this step if you are lucky enough to find your chicken pre-thinned when you buy it.
2. In a gallon-sized plastic bag, combine the buttermilk, honey, and seasoning. Zip the top and shake around to combine. Unzip, and add the chicken. Seal the bag and turn to coat the chicken. Place in the fridge for at least 3 hours (up to 1 day).

**I'll pause here, in case you're glancing at the recipe and don't realize that there's a lengthy pause in the middle. Have a drink, if you're into that sort of thing. And pick up here in 3-24 hours.

Reminder - it does not matter if you fry the chicken or make the waffles first. I found it easier to make the waffles.

1. Heat up your favorite waffle iron (or your least favorite, but that doesn't really seem practical).
2. In a large bowl, combine the dry ingredients.
3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients. Pour into the dry ingredients and stir just to combine.
4. Brush the waffle iron lightly with oil or butter.
5. Pour the batter into the iron - my iron uses 1/4 cup for each of 2 waffle cubbies. Close and cook until the iron tells you it's done.
6. If making these first, slide into a warmed oven (about 200-225 degrees).

For the chicken (we're nearly there!!)

1. In a food processor, pulse the pecans until they are very fine (pecan flour). Set aside.
2. Place a large skillet over medium-high heat and add enough oil to fill about 1/2" in the pan (I used vegetable, but you can use canola or peanut, also. Please do NOT use olive oil for this use). 
3. In a deep dish (like a pie plate), whisk the pecan flour, all-purpose flour, seasoning, pepper, and salt together.
4. Remove the chicken from the fridge and dredge the chicken, one-piece at time, and place in the oil. My pan was big enough to cook 3-pieces at a time. You may need to adjust the heat to prevent burning, but the chicken will only take about 4 minutes per side. Once both sides are brown and crispy, place the chicken on a paper bag to drain the oil.
5. Repeat with remaining chicken.
6. Keep warm in the oven.

To serve, combine your feats of deliciousness. Top the waffles with butter and syrup, and decorate the chicken with spicy brown mustard. The syrup with do delicious, naughty things to the mustard. Slip into your fat pants... and enjoy together. In your mouth.

FTW

*Health warning - yea, you probably shouldn't eat this frequently. Take a run. Get your arteries checked. Enjoy it with some fruit juice. If you're smart, a Bloody Mary can offer fruits, vegetables, AND a delightful buzz. Again, if you're into that sort of thing.*

French Onion Taters

I had a wonderful accident. Through a series of events, I got myself hopelessly addicted the french onion soup, then baked potatoes, then became obsessed with combining the two. AND THEN I ran out of wine. *GASP* What a horrible, terrible thing of a lush home-cook to do. I love cooking with alcohol. Sometimes I even add it to the food! I kid - also, I stole that from an apron. But I do enjoy cooking with it. It adds a great sweetness (alcohol is sugar... SCIENCE!) and depending on how you pair the food, can sometimes add a little something special and depth to a dish. And my favorite thing to do with caramelized onions is to get a good color by adding wine.

Now, on one fateful day, I had a plan. French-onion-topped Baked Potatoes. I can hear you wiping the drool off your keyboard, so I'll wait.

Better? Okay.

Through practice, I already had a pretty good idea for the onions, and how to condense a wonderful soup flavor into a thick tater-topper. And I had the onions sliced and cooking before I realized I was out of cooking wine. And before I opened the only expensive wine I had in my bar, a bottle caught the corner of my eye. That's right, an unassuming Southern friend opened my eyes to a whole new way of life. WHISKEY

Okay, so it's Bourbon. Drop the pitchfork, kthx.

And so began my whiskey obsession. I happened to have some cheap bourbon/whiskey on hand at the time, but I can assure you that this cooking adventure turned my eyes upward, I met a guiding white light, and went out and spent a lot of money on a good bottle of Irish whiskey that I promptly drank in a week instead of my usual wine. I'm a whiskey convert. When I first smelled from the bottle, the whiskey smelled smokey and deep and it just smelled amber. Wine is good. Don't get me wrong. But as soon as I smelled this, I knew I had to have onions with it. And it. Was. Tremendous. And let us say, Amen.

French-Onion Taters

Note: this would still be wonderful if you used wine or cooking sherry instead. Really. This was just *really* good this way.

Ingredients (for 2 servings)

2 baker potatoes (I used 2 half-pound russets, but you can use whatever floats your boat)

olive oil

1-2 onion, sliced thinly**

1 Tbl butter

1 Tbl olive oil

1-2 oz whiskey (or wine)

1 pckg beef concentrate (you can also use 2 oz beef broth if this is hard to find)

About 1 cup swiss or gruyere, shredded

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Use a fork to stab the potatoes all over. Rub the potatoes lightly with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Wrap in aluminum foil and bake for 45-60 minutes (depending on size).

2) About 20 minutes later... Preheat a pan and melt together butter and olive oil. Add the onion and add salt.

3) Cook the onions until they start to become translucent and brown slightly (took me about 20 minutes). At this point, add the whiskey and concentrate/broth. Cook until the alcohol cooks off.

4) Continue to cook until it become thick and melty. (They will have cooked down a lot)

5) This timing should have your potatoes done just after you add the alcohol. Check for doneness by poking with a sharp knife. When they're done....

Dress your potatoes as you prefer - I like to split mine, add too much butter, a dollop of sour cream or plain yogurt, and some salt (potatoes love salt).

Split the onions between the two potatoes and finish with swiss cheese. If you want to get fancy (and I love fancy!), throw (okay, please don't throw your potatoes) put them under the broiler until the cheese gets just before burning (the science of cheese... if you burn, you've gone too long. Okay - just check it a lot - broilers are tricky).

**I used just one onion, and it was fine, but it cooks down so much, that I really would have rathered my own whole caramelized onion. Use your judgement based on size of your onion, and love of caramelized onions.

Green chili... Again.

Tomatillos

Boys and Girls - for the first time in my decade of filing taxes (whoa... let's pause and reflect on the fact that I have had a job for 10 years now while only managing to be out of school for 2 of them...) I have filed taxes before April. Just last year, I filed for the first time before April 14th at 11 pm at night. Not only is it not the 12th hour before they're due, but in case you haven't seen a calendar, it's also still January. Some people don't even have their forms yet - but mine are DONE! Yippee!! So, in celebration (and before I get dragged into homework for the night...), you get another post!

Pork shoulder, cubed

I'm having sleeping issues - it usually happens right around my bi-monthly drug infusion. I get fatigued towards the end of the 8 weeks. So I up my caffeine intake. In the days following the infusion, my body rebounds, and I get even more tired. Then it gets better for 7 weeks. But yesterday I was dragging - so I had delicious coffee all day (sshhh - I know I shouldn't. Does that make it better? No? Well, I did it) and into class. Can you see what's coming next? Yup - I got home from class at 9 pm and was so jazzed that I couldn't sleep. So, I did a little homework reading, a little surfing the net, and a little work email answering. About 1 am, I finally tuckered myself out and tried for sleep. Which is fine, but it means that 6:30 comes around real quick. And then I overslept and have had coffee all day. And now - here we are at 7:30 pm and I'm excited about my maturity for finishing taxes, and all that caffeine, and maybe I've already had a mug cake but haven't started dinner, so I'm a little wired. I was going to go to bed at 8 pm to catch up on sleep. Are you laughing? I'm laughing a little.

Diced onion

I thought I would catch up on a pot by finally posting about some delicious green chili I made. But guess what? I already posted about it. Embarrassing... I did realize I couldn't post any pictures because I was a terrible blogger the first time. And I made it again because it was that good. And took pictures the second time (blogger redemption!). Enjoy the pictures (not many) and think about a spicy love jacuzzi of chili to celebrates Valentine's day.

Feel the delicious burn

Searing the meat

Tomatillos (again)

Sr. Jose to help

Spicy Love Jacuzzi

Sushi Obsession

Confession: I am obsessed with sushi. Specifically: salmon. And California rolls. It all started with lox - on bagels, in omelettes, on little pizzas... I was hooked with the silky, almost creamy texture of the uncooked fish (yes, technically lox is cured... sshhh! I'm waxing poetic here). And then my wonderful mom introduced me to sushi.  And then there was light - and it was good.

When I'm stressed and don't want matzo ball soup, sushi will forever fill my soul. It's light, but will fill me up without that "roll me out" feeling that over-eating tends to lend. While I cannot afford to eat sushi every day, believe you me - I would if I could. And for some reason, I have had in my brain an idea about a California roll salad: deconstructed on a plate with lettuce. Sweet crab, creamy avocado, the bite of cucumber - and rounded out with some ginger dressing. I haven't been able to get it out of my head, but I've been too distracted to make it. And then... the sushi place near our apartment has a special local roll. Salmon, tuna, and cream cheese are rolled in rice and seaweed, the whole dang thing is tempura fried (I will pause here for effect...) and then the whole glorious mouth-delight is covered in sriracha, sweet eel teriyaki sauce, and creamy sriracha mayo.

Isn't it beautiful?

So, tonight, while stressed from only 50 things to do (half of them due tomorrow) and upset tumtum from a delayed treatment (also tomorrow) and just a teense of family stress and home-sickness... I wanted sushi. And gosh-darned-it, I was going to make this mind-salad going on in my head, and I was going to combine these two mouth-parties (y'know - it's a party in my mouth? Mouth party. It's a thing. You're now invited).

Let me also say that I have recipe photos primed and ready to post from... like... October. I'm *clearly* behind on my blogging. But this recipe, that I just finished eating 2 hours ago, needed to be posted immediately. Also, I've had just about enough of 21 CFR 814 and ISO 14155 - and I'm glad you asked what they are because they have everything to do with my practicum (read: thesis) and before I slip into quoting why audits are super fantastic... let's talk amazing foodgasms. Because you should make this. I don't exaggerate. Except the fantasticness of federal regulations - I have to pretend to be excited in order to survive the next 137 days. SO! YAY! That might be the hard apple cider that's excited... but y'know... whatever.

Salmon Tempura Salad (AKA: Mouth Party - Sushi-style)
Note: Don't judge me for my shortcuts. I'm very busy and important. Also, I didn't get home from a meeting until after 7 tonight and I still had 50 things to do. Very important federally-regulated stuff. Or something.

Ingredients - for about 3 servings
About 3/4 lb salmon (deboned, no skin - ask your fishmonger to do it for you)
1 cup Teriyaki sauce or marinade
Dry tempura batter (you can also use your favorite recipe, if you have one)
Oil for frying
About 2 cups long-grained rice, cooked and cooled to room temperature
2 cups of your favorite lettuce (I used bibb, my favorite)
1 large avocado
1 English cucumber
As much siracha sauce and sesame ginger dressing that you want (Note: I happened to find pre-packaged siracha-mayo mixture, but there are plenty of recipes online that allow you to mix it yourself. I also used packaged sesame ginger salad dressing.)

1. About 5 hours before dinner (before an annoyingly late dinner would be good), put the salmon and the teriyaki in a gallon-size plastic bag. Let it hang out in the fridge (depending on your timing) at least 1 hour, up to 24 hours.

2. Mix the tempura batter according to package directions - my package said 3/4 cup dry to 1 cup ice-cold water. Mix quickly, it will still be lumpy. Remove the salmon from the fridge and cut into 3-4 equally sized pieces. (I've seen that you can use something as simple as flour with club soda... but I have no experience with this. Heresay...)

3. In a large pot, pour a few inches of oil (any vegetable oil would work) and heat to about 350-375 degrees over medium-low or medium heat. While oil slowly heats up, dice half of the avocado. Slice the other half.

4. Peel the cucumber, slice in half, and remove the seeds with a spoon. Dice half of the cucumber, thinly slice the other half.

5. In a large bowl, mix the diced avocado, diced cucumber, and 3 tablespoons of siracha-mayo sauce and mix. You can add more or less, depending on your spice-tolerance. When the rice is cooled, you can add that to this mixture and combine. Please wait - your train is moments away from Flavortown.

Flavortown. You're almost there.

6. Your oil should be ready now. Batter the salmon in the tempura and fry the pieces, 2 at a time. Careful not to crowd the pot. My first batch cooked in 97 seconds, the second batch (thicker pieces) took about 127 seconds. Let them rest. Don't burn your mouth. (Also, I'm not exaggerating the timing. You may not need to be that exact, but I happen to be... weird).

It's getting hot in Flavortown

7. In two large plates, put a handful of lettuce on each. Next to the lettuce, a few big spoonfuls of the rice-mixture. Place the salmon on top, and a few pieces of sliced avocado and sliced cucumber. Dress Flavortown with a heavy drizzle of siracha sauce and then a round of sesame-ginger dressing.

Mouth party. Location: Flavortown. Guest list: you

Try to take a breath between bites.

Nostalgic Oatmeal

Grandmas have a smell. A delightful comforting smell and sometimes you can't quite put your finger on it. When I visit my mom's parents, they always smell like boats. It helps that they live right near the ocean, but they also have a boat. Slightly salty from the sea water, kind of woody from the boat hardware, and just a hint of duct tape.

We wouldn't visit my dad's mom quite as much - mostly because she just lived further away. But no matter the season, she would always make oatmeal for us. Every time I make it (and not from a packet), I travel back to her house. The creaky floors, the avocado green recliner in front of the TV, the shag carpet.

She passed on a few years ago, and it had been quite some time even since I'd stayed with her before that. But the link of oatmeal simmering on the stove always takes me back to her kitchen table. Waiting anxiously for the familiar timer to pass to 5 minutes. We'd get a big scoop of oatmeal and we'd top it with sugar, a little butter, and milk.

The bowls *always* had chickens on the bottom (a farm scene painted on) and we could not be excused until we saw the chickens on the bottom. I do find myself looking for bowls like those whenever I go to a vintage store or go on an Etsy.com rampage. Hard to find. And I think it's funny how little things like breakfast at grandma's can mean so much to us. 

Without getting too poetic here, it's just nice how something as simple as breakfast can bring families together. While I do have a lot of wonderful memories of my grandma - swimming, her garden, learning to crochet, walking to the park near her house - those darned chickens are still my favorite. In another 10 or 20 years, I wonder what my favorite thing will be about the early years of our marriage. What silly little thing will stay with me? With him? And where can I find those chicken bowls??

Anyways... Oatmeal!

Nothing special here... Pulled from the back of the Quaker tub

2 servings

1 1/2 cups Quaker oats (not the quick 2-minute kind)

3 cups water

milk, brown sugar, and butter for serving (raisins if you want to get crazy, but that's not the way Grammy did it, so there)

1. Boil water.

2. Add oats, stir. Set timer for 5 minutes. Stir once.

3. When timer goes off, pour oatmeal into a chicken bowl (okay, any bowl will work).

4. Top with toppings of your choice.

5. Eat until you see the chickens. Then go play on the shag carpet.

Shepard's Pi

I just realized that my last post was about failure. And it was almost 4 months ago. Oops. I admit to my woeful neglect of the blog and I would like to blame it 100% on the final 8 months of my Master's program. Somewhere between a full time job, classes, thesis project, and, like, a husband - the blog just got lost. But I have been cooking. Occassionally. And sometimes I even remember to take pictures. And because of that, I have about a dozen recipes with edited photos ready to post, but no story to go with them. I hope to find a few minutes to at least post them. Most of them are warm and toasty winter recipes that will seem silly to post if it gets any warmer. And now that I am trapped in my apartment, thanks to the 8" of snow we've had in Seattle - it has CRIPPLED the city - I've had some wine, and a mug cake, and lots of dinner, and now I'm ready to type a little. But just a little.

Once upon a time, I made pot roast from Guy Fieri. And there was lots of leftovers for just the two of us. And I made it with mashed potatoes. And I knew what I wanted to do with the leftovers: Shepard's Pie! I love a good casserole, and I love transforming leftovers into something difference because here's a secret: I. Hate. Leftovers. I can't stand them. They're dry, and mushy, and almost Never as good as the original. So, by adding a little moisture and fresh ingredients, you can take boring, dry leftovers and turn it into a warm, gooey casserole that will soothe your cold, winter soul. And, AND!!, it's a one-pot meal. I love one-pot meals. Enough veggies that you don't need a side-dish. Unless you're some weird nursing student with a veggie-obsession (previous comment is without judgement to nursing students - I love you all. And veggies. I love veggies. Never mind). Anyways - one pot meals are GREAT. And awesome for dishes. I hate to do dishes. I'm really lucky that my husband does them. Three cheers for fewer dishes! You save water. Do it for the environment. That's right - I made the jump - this dish will help you save the environment.

Shepard's Pie

You can use any variety of leftovers for this - I happened to have pot roast, gravy, and mashed potatoes left. If you are missing any, you can replace cooked ground beef for pot roast. You can make a gravy (from a packet or from a roux with beef broth). Mashed potatoes are easy and (if you're into that sort of thing) you can even use instant flakes - don't judge, I used to eat them all the time. They're FINE. And cheap. If you're feeling really wild and crazy, you can substitute chicken or turkey for the beef, and add poultry-based gravy or broth. Go crazy.

Ingredients:

2 Tbl olive oil

2 Tbl butter

1 onion, diced

2 carrots, diced

3 stalks celery, diced

1 pint mushrooms, sliced (about 2 cups - or exactly, if you're into conversions like that)

1/2 cup red wine

~1 pound of beef (ground, roast, whatever)

2 cups gravy (or beef broth would work if you were desperate)

2 cups leftover mashed taters

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt butter and olive oil over medium heat to an oven-proof pan (enameled cast-iron works great for this). Add the onion with a large pinch of salt. Heat until translucent.

2. Add the carrots and celery and saute for about 3 minutes.

3. Add the mushrooms and wine. As much wine as feels right. Be bad - it's cold outside. Cook until wine evaporates. But just barely.

4. Add the beef. Where's the beef??

5. Stir in the gravy.

6. Spread the mashed potatoes on top.

7. Put the whole pot, uncovered, in the oven. Bake until lightly browned and bubbly - about 30 minutes. At this point, everything is cooked - it's just melding flavors.

8. Yum-town - population, YOU!