#Reverb15 – January

Upgoals | What are you so NOT doing this year? What’s on your “I just can’t care about that” list?

I’m a little late, but I really have been thinking about this goal for a while. I would really like to care less about what I can’t control. I’d like to think less of what people think about me. And I’d like to care less about whether or not I’m scoring a high enough grade in aspects of life that aren’t actually graded (so… all of it).

As a type A control freak (who… me? I know. Shocking), I tend to care a lot about a lot. I would love to be able to lay aside all my cares, and actually do. And coming from a family of engineers, I’m super good at planning and caring. Doing is hard. Doing is the struggle. Letting go of the plans and the “could-bes” and “worst case” and “what-ifs” are something that I may never be able to do. But I’m trying.

Last night was my third yoga class in a week, and my second as part of an eight week introduction series I signed up for. I’ve loved the idea of yoga – especially regarding the wellness and awareness it can bring people in all areas of life. But it is a practice. And last night, they were speaking about how you can never really be an A student in yoga until you let yourself be a C student first. 

Me: “LOLZ.” 

But it’s true. And as we transitioned into our eleventy billionth downward dog of the night, my shoulders screamed, and my hamstrings pulled in the wrong direction, and my whole body started shaking. So I took a knee and took a breath in child’s pose. And that was okay! And then I went right back into downward dog, but just that single breath on the ground allowed me to finish stronger.

And I’m trying to bring that into my life more. So when my desk life is screaming, and my chores are pulling me in the wrong direction, and my relationships are shaking, I can try to take a knee. Take a breath – just one breath – and do more, stronger. And I just can’t care that other people don’t need to take a knee or a breath. But more likely is that I’m too focused on my own screaming shoulders to notice that they took a break before I did, and we all finished together.