Okay. All my cards on the table: this was a rough body image year. In all honesty, this year's weight gain has affected me more than any my other bald years prior.
But I remember two nights in particular where I felt outrageous.
(1) Our 4-year anniversary in March. We made reservations. I wore a wig and a new dress. Hubs got me a beautiful gift. I was drunk on love before the alcohol kicked in. It was a rare evening together in between many weeks of travel and it was so wonderful to be engaged and focused on each other.
(2) Few months later, I found a coupon for a distillery tour and cocktail tasting date night. We made friends, made drinks, and ate a greasy bar burger before heading home. After 50,000 miles traveled, this was a welcome break and so nice to stay with my man.
|Date night selfie!|
It was not until I started writing this down that I realized how much I define "gorgeous" by the quality time I spend with my husband. Yes, I feel pretty sometimes when I travel on my own.But I think "gorgeous" represents a centered mind, as well. My year was by no means centered or peaceful, but when I get to spend quiet moments with my man, he does have that effect on me.
Can I have my own identity, self esteem, and centered moments without him? Of course. I have and I will continue my own identity without him. But we are in a partnership together, and it's okay that he can be that rock for me, too. That may not be a very feminist sentiment, but this is my truth. And in this year where I traveled over 100,000 miles over this globe, it is comforting to let him have this peace over me.